A Confession

Baldilocks just posted a very powerful and inspirational must-read article on her blog. We’re proud to feature it here and share in her hope “that a young lady reading this will take it to heart and turn away from a faulty life”.

I’m 48 and I’ve been pregnant twice but I have no children for two reasons: immorality and morality.

My first pregnancy occurred when I was 17 and not married. I had an abortion because it was convenient–I had no spiritual beliefs at the time. My second pregnancy occurred 13 years later when I was married. It was planned and conception happened after the nuptials were said, but I miscarried–it was an ectopic pregnancy and it happened because, before I married, I continued to fornicate and contracted chlamydia, a venereal disease which is easily cured but which scars the fallopian tubes and can prevent the fertilized egg from traveling to the uterus where it needs to implant and grow. In an ectopic pregnancy, the fertilized egg implants in the fallopian tube–a place too small for a growing human. If an ectopic pregnancy is allowed to advance past 1 month, it will kill the mother and, obviously, the baby.

I still mourn both of my children. Afterward, however, I decided to do things God’s way–the God of the Bible–even if it meant that I would never have children. (My ex asked me for a divorce right after I miscarried and I have never remarried.) There are always miracles.

My point is that if I had conducted my relationship and reproductive lives differently, I’d have children. However, I am content to carry on my life as is and to accept God’s grace.

Faith, forethought and behavior are the keys. Some of you [commenters] may not agree with my premises, but, perhaps a young lady or two reading this will take my words as a cautionary tale.

We thank this great lady for her courage in posting this, and pray God will use it to encourage and guide other women who may be facing similar situations and decisions. May God continue to bless her ministry.