Lost After the Loss of a Loved One? It May Be Time For a Move

Guest Post by Camille Johnson from The Bereaver Blog. The views and opinions expressed in the article and associated links are those of the author, and may or may not necessarily reflect those of ad Dei Gloriam Ministries. We have no relationship with any of the organizations linked within the article.

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Grieving the loss of a loved one or thing brings deep sorrow, and it can seem impossible in some cases. But by drawing close to God and taking practical steps each day to maintain your health, you can grieve healthily and come out stronger than ever.

While it’s reassuring to know this is all in God’s plan, and your church community can be the best support you can find at times like these, it may not feel that way in the moment. Suddenly finding yourself alone can be terrifying. Factor in the many changes that you’ll have to deal with at this time, and it may seem like an unbearable challenge. While it may seem drastic, after weighing the pros and cons, sometimes the best way to move on is to actually move.

Take good care of yourself

When the person you’ve shared your life with has passed away, even meeting daily needs can seem overwhelming. Take care of the body first–you’ll need to eat well, to exercise (even a walk around the block), and to try to get good sleep. It’s easy to fall into a funk, skipping the dishes and laundry, skipping meals. Make contact with friends and family who you won’t be embarrassed when they see that way, but who will also motivate you to get back up again. Even just calling someone sometimes can give you the perspective you need to take better care of yourself.

When you’re between houses, or if you’ve decided to move to a new town, don’t let your wellness visits lapse. Because you’re grieving you might miss some of the warning signs when it comes to your own health. If you haven’t been sleeping or eating well, this can exacerbate any health concerns.

Fortunately, you can book a virtual doc visit online if you have yet to establish care with a doctor in your new town. Simply search for "online doctors" or "online medical care" in your favorite internet browser. Online platforms make telehealth an easy option so you get the care you need. And whether you have insurance or not, you can still meet with an online physician to discuss your needs. Look for an option with same-day appointments.

Lighten possessions

Memories of your life partner will linger on, especially at home where you’re surrounded by their earthly belongings. You’ll undoubtedly go through a myriad of emotions, running the gamut from sadness to guilt. However, dealing with your late spouse’s possessions is a crucial part of letting go and moving on, and an unavoidable one at that.

In truth, this is an opportune time to declutter your own belongings and downsize. As this is an emotionally-charged task, it’s wise to enlist the help of a trusted friend or loved one, not just to do the heavy lifting, but also to give you comfort in the process. You might even find it’s an empowering part of the healing process.

As a rule of thumb, sort belongings into piles. While emotions may dictate that you hold on to collections and meaningful keepsakes, you also have to assess whether these will serve you or just add to clutter. It’s good practice to take photos of meaningful items or pass them on to loved ones, as well as keep what’s useful and truly priceless. The rest can be sold, donated, or thrown away.

Give yourself permission to start anew

Sometimes moving away mitigates grief. After all, it’s painful to return to an empty household that’s now devoid of a presence that was once constant. As daunting a decision as moving to a new home may be, it’s one that will save you money in the long run as living expenses decrease, which you can put forward for your future or use to offset the impact of a lost income.

It’s necessary to follow a few steps to ensure a financially sound decision. Take into account how much you’re likely to make in the sale of your home. Next, look at the costs involved in selling your home, buying a new one, moving expenses, and so forth. And while it’s a good idea to get help from people you trust or consult a professional like a financial advisor, remember that the decision is ultimately yours to make.

Prioritize your needs

Know that your safety and comfort are of the essence, especially if you depended on your late spouse for care. With that in mind, seniors sometimes do best in independent living. This option can mean less work because many facilities handle housekeeping and some health support. Independent living can also include a senior-friendly environment and social life. You may want to search the internet for more information regarding the advantages and disadvantages of assisted living.

The death of your spouse may give you a sense of an ending, but it’s undeniably also the start of a new chapter. There’s nowhere to go but forward. Let grief run its course and in due time, you’ll find the right decisions for your own future.